Transparent and Free

When a person decides to go under the knife, it’s never an easy decision. No matter the type of surgery chosen, there are major risks associated with that choice. Many people hold off from having life-sustaining treatment because they fear the unknown. Even when your surgeon comes highly recommended and has performed the procedure hundreds of times, there is still some level of hesitancy that exists.

More and More, elective surgeries have become just as normal as a routine checkup. Both men and women flock to popular cities and countries to obtain the perfect body. Social media has aided in the acceptability of these procedures by normailzing them and the surgeons who perform them. On any given day you can scroll your social feed and see doctors going live doing proceedures and making reels and funny videos. Personally if you like it, i love it. Im a firm believer in people doing things to make themselves happy. But why the secrecy around bariatric surgery?

In August of 2022, I began my weight loss journey and scheduled a consultation with the bariatric surgery team at my local hospital. I remember that first visit like it was yesterday, my palms were sweaty, I was sweaty and I still wasn’t sure if I was making the right decision. A lot of my uncertainty came from the voices in my own circle and community. For some reason, bariatric surgery has been perceived as “the easy way” out or “ the lazy route” and i’m here to tell you, it’s anything but.

Having weight loss surgery has entered my mind several times throughout the years but as someone who has never had any major surgery and has only been in the hospital for childbirth, I quickly chickened out. Then on top of seeing the journey of so many other women. Some were successful, some lost then regained, then some hid the fact that they had bariatric surgery and presented as if their dramatic weight loss was from diet, detox tea, and exercise alone. And it made me wonder, why hide it, why feel embarrassed about a choice you made that could possibly save your life? Why be so consumed by the opinions of others that you present a false narrative for fear of judgment? It’s sad that women feel ashamed to talk about bariatric surgery while others openly talk about elective procedures like BBLs, Breast Augmentation, and the infamous Mommy Makeovers.

I’ve tried everything from Atkins to Keto to Slim Fast to Jenny Craig, hell I even gave Weight Watchers a try. I spent 6 days a week in the gym with a trainer and still plateaued at 290 lbs. I was tired. Tired of carrying the excess weight, tired of my feet hurting, tired of my knees aching, and tired of being tired all the damn time. So I started researching the different procedures, and surgeons, and I started looking for stories of women who looked like me, women who were sharing their journey, and women who I felt represented where I was in life. I wasn’t depressed about my weight, I wasn’t hiding my body in baggy clothes and I damn sure wasn’t lacking in the confidence department. I just was tired of being fat! Where were the women who also woke up one day and decided that they too had had enough? The sad truth……. there were very few. It was like a taboo or something.

My decision to share my journey is from the frustration I felt during my research phase. I decided I was going to be transparent and be present in the hopes that my story could be the help that someone else needs. From the moment I shared that I was having surgery, I was met with support, opinions, and DMs asking why “because I look good the way I was”. My favorite question, which got asked a lot was “What does your husband think” Being asked this by strangers didnt bother me as I know they don’t know me personally or the dynamic of my marriage but to be asked this by people who know that I didn’t need his approval about my choices for my body was crazy to me. Some people that I have been friends with for years became distant and that was ok. I knew that I would walk this journey all by myself if I had to because, for the first time in my life, I was putting myself first. It was really sad to watch people transfer their fears and insecurities onto me, or at least attempt to. This made me even more willing to be a voice in the community.

I was rolled into the operating room on Tuesday, March 21 @11:17am and my life was forever changed. This journey over the past 6 months has been just that, a journey. One thing for certain, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Being transparent has helped several women I’ve encountered make their decision to start their journies, also several women had shared that they had been scared to share their stories for fear of judgment. On the flip side, I’ve made new friends and I found the person that I lost so many years ago. I found me. Even though I have moments of body dysmorphia or disbelief I know that I made the very best choice for me and I will plaster it across the highest billboard.

My name is De’Shantel Odom-Brown and I had Gastric Bypass surgery on March 21, 2023, and as of today, I have lost 91 lbs. Damn! I can’t believe I just said that. I promise to be an open book and share the highs and lows of my weight loss journey and to always be truthful about my experiences. Please follow my journey on my Instagram page and if you have any question feel free to ask. Respectfully of course.

*Keep in mind that no 2 journies are the same and everyone has a different story*

Can You Wear Shapewear and Be Body Positve? Hell Yes You CAN.

Over the past few years the phrase “Body positivity “ has taken over the internet. It gave people the nudge they needed to say “Yes I have a fupa, so the fuck what!” or take whatever body insecurity they have and realize that they were not alone and we are here to love on you and support you as we deal with our own shit too.

For the first time in years, more and more women…. and men were letting it all hang out. Beautiful stretch marks and bat wings and jelly rolls were filling the internet as people finally started excepting their right now bodies. You know what the right now body is right? It’s your body in its current state before we start promising to lose weight or dieting or whatever it is that we say to ourselves whenever we don’t feel adequate. Now we all know anytime overweight people start loving on themselves here come the damn health trolls inserting their 2 cents with their Google medical degrees and Web MD stats. Like really where the hell did you come from and please sit down and STFU!

There seemed to be forward momentum and solidarity in the plus-size community, Until that is it was stated that you can’t say that you represent body positivity if you wear shapewear?1?!

Wayment, what!

So you mean to tell me that because I wear my shapewear I’m not body positive. You say I’m hiding or ashamed of my body. Well, I say y’all crazy as hell. How about I was raised by my grandma and a lady didn’t dare put on a dress or skirt without a slip or girdle because you didn’t want all your business to be showing, I mean and let’s be honest it makes the garment fit better. If some of us didn’t put on a bra our breasts would be hanging mighty low. We put on that bra because what? We want them to sit up and look a certain way, Right? Well, I pulled these damn Spanx up because I want one stomach in my dress, not two wtf.

There were multiple articles posted and loads of influencers saying that pushing shapewear is equivalent to body shaming. I say pump the brakes. If shapewear isn’t your thing then, by all means, carry on. But wearing doesn’t mean that you hate your body without nor does it mean you have to wear it all the time. Its an accessory just like a scarf, a pair of earrings or a belt. It may not be necessary to add to every outfit but its good to know you have one in the drawer. Now I would never give my unsolicited advice to anyone but when asked my professional opinion I’m gonna give an honest one. As a stylist, my job is to make sure that every client I come in contact with look and feel their personal best. And the first lesson I teach to my clients is a well fitted and pulled together look starts with a great foundation (bra, panties, shapewear or hosiery)

So say what you will, I love me, all of me, every roll, piece of back fat, side titty and the dimples in my thighs cause I look good! But there are times where they need to be tucked neatly in place so I can handle my business. Listen I want everyone to feel comfortable in their skin and whatever you need to help you feel that way, I’m all for that as well.

Now lets just all get along and continue to slay these streets!

image taken by photographer Substantia Jones